Always

Sometimes I watch TV

and randomly I'll have like a moment of clarity where I realize this show is not made for me. Something's not clicking the way it's supposed to. I'm just not getting it.

It doesn't come off that way at first. It's just an interesting thought I have about whatever is going on on my screen which upon further reflection explains a lot. Granted, there aren't that many media choices out there for mid-20 single females with awkward social graces that failed in life and end up living like losers with their parents. (God. I just labeled myself with the word mid-20.) Don't get me wrong. There's plenty of Judd Apatow out there for the afflicted males amongst us, but us girls don't get many choices now do we? And it's funny but because of my weird schedule, it takes quite an effort to catch up on particular shows. Thus, I only watch things I really like so most of these shows are in the favorite territory for me.

Anyways, here's a list of the shows I watch and why I probably shouldn't be watching them.

Skins - Alo's parents were right for taking his things away. He blew up a cow! Boy needs to learn some respect and start acting right. He thinks he's a kid but the real world is coming and unless he buckles down they're going to be washing his dirty socks until they die.

Any adult cartoon (Futurama included) - That was crude. Crudeness isn't funny.

Skate videos or Jackass (work thing mostly) - That looks like it hurts. They should take him to the hospital instead of filming him. These are horrible friends.

Parenthood (previously Brothers and Sisters) -
Though I'm embarrassed to say that I used to watch Brothers and Sisters. But the character I relate to the most is one of the kids' friends who is only in one episode, has no lines, and has that look on his face that says your family is kind of weird. Like, why do these people all talk to their families so much?

Any anime - Why are they emoting that way? Don't they understand subtlety?

Any sports (work again) - Sports are futile. What's the point?

How I Met Your Mother - These people all sleep around too much and everything is about sex. Why does he want to get married anyways?

Glee - Another musical number? I wish they'd just scrap the songs on this show and say something outright. You know, get on with the plot development. Each song is like two minutes of wasted potential.

Being Human - Nina is the best character on this show.

Community - Okay, nothing much to say here. Just wanted to point out how sad I feel that Pierce doesn't want to be in the study group anymore. Remember two years ago when I thought Pierce was the worst part of the show? I couldn't wait for Chevy Chase to get bored and leave. Remember that though? I'm sorry for ever feeling that way.

And I reiterate, this is pretty much all I watch in the 4 or 5 hours of TV viewing I get a week and many of these things are favorites.

I suppose there's some silver lining moral here about having a mind of your own and not accepting everything others offer you with blind faith. Be your own person and what not. But I find it hard to focus on such trivialities when there are bigger answers to find. Such as, what do I do now that everything is over? How do am I supposed to wait until fall? And yes, the basketball season is over. I don't care that the finals barely started. It's over I tell you!

In conclusion, Community is awesome and Everybody Loves Hypnotoad is back June 23rd. Here. Catch up on some reruns to tide you over.

The greatest day I ever had

involved me remembering that a Twix package actually has two candy bars in it.

Pause.

No lie though.

I've missed the thrill of passing a test.

No matter how small and seemingly mundane. And it's weird because I don't remember it being thrilling at all. I remember the feeling being more anxiety filled annoyance and fear. And it's the weirdest thing in the world to miss it.

By the way, I passed the medication administering section of my DSP class. First attempt baby!

Andrew Bynum is a badass.

I know this is really late but I've been on the fence on what exactly I should say. I mean, I've been trying to get upset over what happened last Sunday and I realize now that I just can't. Don't get me wrong, Sunday's game was a complete atrocity. The whole of the greater Los Angeles area wept that night. I've watched most of their games this season and the Lakers have never played this bad before. And it's the end of an era. Phil Jackson's last game and this is what he's going to have in his memory? They just gave up. So, PLENTY to feel bad about in general, but...

That foul. Or those fouls really. There's a part of me that pretends to be intellectual and all, and that part keeps trying to tell me how awful those fouls were. They were childish acts of sore losers with poor impulse control. They are representing their coach, their team, their city, and all of their fans. Is it too much to ask for even some semblance of dignity? Some pride in yourself? I expect this from Artest but really guys? At least, that's what my 'brain' is trying to get me to feel, and it's weird cause that's how it usually feels. But this time all I can think of is where that #17 jersey went after he pulled it off because you know somehow some fan's got it and I just hope it's not a Mav's blue shirt and how ANDREW BYNUM IS A FRIGGIN' BOSS!

It's nice to let the immaturity take over sometimes. I'll see you guys next season. Till then, Kobe Diem you guys. Kobe Diem forever.

Why The Last House on the Left is so disturbing.

I greatly enjoy horror movies. There was a time in my life that I considered myself a horror movie buff. I might still be if I had the time, the means, and friends willing to sit with me for two hours without promising some kind of retribution involving Disney because movies should always be watched in groups of two or more. So I've seen a lot of disturbing things in my movie watching lifetime and The Last House on the Left has the usuals: blood, torture, murder, crazy intense rape scenes, and microwaves. But the main reason it is so disturbing is because of the way this graphic content works in tandem with my Bing-like mind. And by Bing-like mind, I mean the kind of mind of association you see in the Bing commercials where people can't focus on the content right in front of them and can only think about the things that are associated with the things they're supposed to be thinking about. You see, I shouldn't even call it a Bing mind because in the context of the commercial, it is a Google or some other search engine mind, but to me, I can only think about it being a Bing commercial and the two will forever be linked now in my association hungry mind context be damned.

Anyways, the point is, when I watched this movie, this is how I saw it (keep in mind that other than like two bit players these are ALL the characters in the movie):

The Father- played by Tony Goldwyn. Okay, I can start here because at the time of watching I had no idea who he was and all I could do was focus on his weird no-eyebrowness. Then I went home and looked him up and it turns out he was the voice of Tarzan. And now I keep thinking Son of Man and Jane had such a hard time in their lives and they finally got together and this beautiful baby of two worlds was gifted to them and they raised her together in harmony between the jungle and the concrete jungle, and then someone came and raped her and left her to die.

The Mother – played by Monica Potter. When I used to think of Monica Potter, I thought of Con Air which brought up Nicolas Cage which brings up Face/Off and Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, etc. all at the same time and. Wait. I'm Bing-minding again. Now when I see her, all I see is Kristina Braverman from Parenthood. And what is Kristina Braverman, loving mother of autistic son Max, doing? Why she is shredding a man's hand in a garbage disposal so he can drown in his own blood. And also, this totally makes the daughter Haddie and that is just so painful and unforgivable and sad to me.

The Boy – played by Spencer Treat Clark. This is the little boy from Double Jeopardy and Unbreakable. While I didn't get any real emotional connection to either of those roles, I do know what this guy looked like at 10 years old and he looked very much like he does at 21. So everything I saw on that face got morphed onto that of a 10 year old's. All that fear and pain and guilt on a boy of 10. And tears. Don't forget tears.

Big Time Bad Guy – played by Garret Dillahunt. He's from Raising Hope and I don't actually watch that show. But I do want them to keep that baby away from him.

Bad Guy's Brother – played by Aaron Paul of The Choking Man (and some other stuff I guess). Now it's been a long time since I've seen that movie and Wikipedia isn't helping but didn't he end up redeeming himself in the end and becoming somewhat likeable? My views on the character are skewed because I didn't like the main guy on account of him being uber boring and I guess by default that makes his foil good? I don't know. Stab him in the head with a hammer if you really want to, Tarzan.

Bad Guy's Girlfriend – played by Riki Lindhome of Garfunkel and Oates. My thoughts shoot two places with this one. One is to her partner Oates as The Gooch on Scrubs. The other is to her very prominent role on Nuthin' But a Glee Thang. And I just worry so much that the next time I watch it I won't be ably to focus on Hemo wanting to cage Naya like a monkey rat or Harry's utterly awesomeness because I'll still be having flashbacks of her involvement in the rape scene. Who am I kidding? I mean it's Heya and Harry we're talking about. Though I might have random bouts of “Hey Garfunkel! I've seen your tits!” Heather Morris, do you know who your friends are?

The Friend – played by Martha MacIsaac. Picture Michael Cera's face. Picture it with all of its adorableness. All of it's awkward dorkiness. All of its vulnerability and hopeful nature. He just has so much love and care in that heart of his and he's looking for the right girl to give it to. And right now, at this very moment, he's found her. Now imagine this girl that he's looking at. A girl he is completely infatuated with, totally devoted to, and heart breakingly in love with. Now imagine her getting stabbed a few times and dying alone on the forest floor after a failed mad rush towards freedom that was close enough to taste but not close enough. Because that is Martha MacIsaac, also known as Becca of Superbad fame. Now imagine his face again.

The Girl – played by Sara Paxton. Aquamarine. 'Nuff said.

And a few random other things about the week: 1) I finished Breakfast of Champions and it was epic. I swear for a moment there as Kilgore Trout, Dwayne Hoover, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., and I all converged in that hotel lobby, I thought the universe might just open up and swallow the book whole from my hands. EPIC. 2) I really wanted it to be Chang's baby. I don't like Andre. I don't like Chang that much either but it would've been way more interesting I think, especially in regards to Chang's involvement with the group in the future. Making it Andre's feels like a cop out. 3) Say what you want about Disney Channel because I couldn't care less but don't tell me Uno is not age appropriate. Have you ever played that game? Since when is having fun not appropriate for all ages? This is in regards to my DSP class. 4) Is it time to change my ringtone from Trouty Mouth to Songbird? No. You're right. I would just cry all the time (like Santana!) and I haven't even seen the episode yet. 5) Why would you put the Laker game on at the same time as Glee? How does anybody choose between those? Just why?

While mopping at work tonight

all I could think about was this.


Mike Chang is a legend. Harry Shum is awesome.