Always

Sometimes I watch TV

and randomly I'll have like a moment of clarity where I realize this show is not made for me. Something's not clicking the way it's supposed to. I'm just not getting it.

It doesn't come off that way at first. It's just an interesting thought I have about whatever is going on on my screen which upon further reflection explains a lot. Granted, there aren't that many media choices out there for mid-20 single females with awkward social graces that failed in life and end up living like losers with their parents. (God. I just labeled myself with the word mid-20.) Don't get me wrong. There's plenty of Judd Apatow out there for the afflicted males amongst us, but us girls don't get many choices now do we? And it's funny but because of my weird schedule, it takes quite an effort to catch up on particular shows. Thus, I only watch things I really like so most of these shows are in the favorite territory for me.

Anyways, here's a list of the shows I watch and why I probably shouldn't be watching them.

Skins - Alo's parents were right for taking his things away. He blew up a cow! Boy needs to learn some respect and start acting right. He thinks he's a kid but the real world is coming and unless he buckles down they're going to be washing his dirty socks until they die.

Any adult cartoon (Futurama included) - That was crude. Crudeness isn't funny.

Skate videos or Jackass (work thing mostly) - That looks like it hurts. They should take him to the hospital instead of filming him. These are horrible friends.

Parenthood (previously Brothers and Sisters) -
Though I'm embarrassed to say that I used to watch Brothers and Sisters. But the character I relate to the most is one of the kids' friends who is only in one episode, has no lines, and has that look on his face that says your family is kind of weird. Like, why do these people all talk to their families so much?

Any anime - Why are they emoting that way? Don't they understand subtlety?

Any sports (work again) - Sports are futile. What's the point?

How I Met Your Mother - These people all sleep around too much and everything is about sex. Why does he want to get married anyways?

Glee - Another musical number? I wish they'd just scrap the songs on this show and say something outright. You know, get on with the plot development. Each song is like two minutes of wasted potential.

Being Human - Nina is the best character on this show.

Community - Okay, nothing much to say here. Just wanted to point out how sad I feel that Pierce doesn't want to be in the study group anymore. Remember two years ago when I thought Pierce was the worst part of the show? I couldn't wait for Chevy Chase to get bored and leave. Remember that though? I'm sorry for ever feeling that way.

And I reiterate, this is pretty much all I watch in the 4 or 5 hours of TV viewing I get a week and many of these things are favorites.

I suppose there's some silver lining moral here about having a mind of your own and not accepting everything others offer you with blind faith. Be your own person and what not. But I find it hard to focus on such trivialities when there are bigger answers to find. Such as, what do I do now that everything is over? How do am I supposed to wait until fall? And yes, the basketball season is over. I don't care that the finals barely started. It's over I tell you!

In conclusion, Community is awesome and Everybody Loves Hypnotoad is back June 23rd. Here. Catch up on some reruns to tide you over.

The greatest day I ever had

involved me remembering that a Twix package actually has two candy bars in it.

Pause.

No lie though.

I've missed the thrill of passing a test.

No matter how small and seemingly mundane. And it's weird because I don't remember it being thrilling at all. I remember the feeling being more anxiety filled annoyance and fear. And it's the weirdest thing in the world to miss it.

By the way, I passed the medication administering section of my DSP class. First attempt baby!

Andrew Bynum is a badass.

I know this is really late but I've been on the fence on what exactly I should say. I mean, I've been trying to get upset over what happened last Sunday and I realize now that I just can't. Don't get me wrong, Sunday's game was a complete atrocity. The whole of the greater Los Angeles area wept that night. I've watched most of their games this season and the Lakers have never played this bad before. And it's the end of an era. Phil Jackson's last game and this is what he's going to have in his memory? They just gave up. So, PLENTY to feel bad about in general, but...

That foul. Or those fouls really. There's a part of me that pretends to be intellectual and all, and that part keeps trying to tell me how awful those fouls were. They were childish acts of sore losers with poor impulse control. They are representing their coach, their team, their city, and all of their fans. Is it too much to ask for even some semblance of dignity? Some pride in yourself? I expect this from Artest but really guys? At least, that's what my 'brain' is trying to get me to feel, and it's weird cause that's how it usually feels. But this time all I can think of is where that #17 jersey went after he pulled it off because you know somehow some fan's got it and I just hope it's not a Mav's blue shirt and how ANDREW BYNUM IS A FRIGGIN' BOSS!

It's nice to let the immaturity take over sometimes. I'll see you guys next season. Till then, Kobe Diem you guys. Kobe Diem forever.

Why The Last House on the Left is so disturbing.

I greatly enjoy horror movies. There was a time in my life that I considered myself a horror movie buff. I might still be if I had the time, the means, and friends willing to sit with me for two hours without promising some kind of retribution involving Disney because movies should always be watched in groups of two or more. So I've seen a lot of disturbing things in my movie watching lifetime and The Last House on the Left has the usuals: blood, torture, murder, crazy intense rape scenes, and microwaves. But the main reason it is so disturbing is because of the way this graphic content works in tandem with my Bing-like mind. And by Bing-like mind, I mean the kind of mind of association you see in the Bing commercials where people can't focus on the content right in front of them and can only think about the things that are associated with the things they're supposed to be thinking about. You see, I shouldn't even call it a Bing mind because in the context of the commercial, it is a Google or some other search engine mind, but to me, I can only think about it being a Bing commercial and the two will forever be linked now in my association hungry mind context be damned.

Anyways, the point is, when I watched this movie, this is how I saw it (keep in mind that other than like two bit players these are ALL the characters in the movie):

The Father- played by Tony Goldwyn. Okay, I can start here because at the time of watching I had no idea who he was and all I could do was focus on his weird no-eyebrowness. Then I went home and looked him up and it turns out he was the voice of Tarzan. And now I keep thinking Son of Man and Jane had such a hard time in their lives and they finally got together and this beautiful baby of two worlds was gifted to them and they raised her together in harmony between the jungle and the concrete jungle, and then someone came and raped her and left her to die.

The Mother – played by Monica Potter. When I used to think of Monica Potter, I thought of Con Air which brought up Nicolas Cage which brings up Face/Off and Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, etc. all at the same time and. Wait. I'm Bing-minding again. Now when I see her, all I see is Kristina Braverman from Parenthood. And what is Kristina Braverman, loving mother of autistic son Max, doing? Why she is shredding a man's hand in a garbage disposal so he can drown in his own blood. And also, this totally makes the daughter Haddie and that is just so painful and unforgivable and sad to me.

The Boy – played by Spencer Treat Clark. This is the little boy from Double Jeopardy and Unbreakable. While I didn't get any real emotional connection to either of those roles, I do know what this guy looked like at 10 years old and he looked very much like he does at 21. So everything I saw on that face got morphed onto that of a 10 year old's. All that fear and pain and guilt on a boy of 10. And tears. Don't forget tears.

Big Time Bad Guy – played by Garret Dillahunt. He's from Raising Hope and I don't actually watch that show. But I do want them to keep that baby away from him.

Bad Guy's Brother – played by Aaron Paul of The Choking Man (and some other stuff I guess). Now it's been a long time since I've seen that movie and Wikipedia isn't helping but didn't he end up redeeming himself in the end and becoming somewhat likeable? My views on the character are skewed because I didn't like the main guy on account of him being uber boring and I guess by default that makes his foil good? I don't know. Stab him in the head with a hammer if you really want to, Tarzan.

Bad Guy's Girlfriend – played by Riki Lindhome of Garfunkel and Oates. My thoughts shoot two places with this one. One is to her partner Oates as The Gooch on Scrubs. The other is to her very prominent role on Nuthin' But a Glee Thang. And I just worry so much that the next time I watch it I won't be ably to focus on Hemo wanting to cage Naya like a monkey rat or Harry's utterly awesomeness because I'll still be having flashbacks of her involvement in the rape scene. Who am I kidding? I mean it's Heya and Harry we're talking about. Though I might have random bouts of “Hey Garfunkel! I've seen your tits!” Heather Morris, do you know who your friends are?

The Friend – played by Martha MacIsaac. Picture Michael Cera's face. Picture it with all of its adorableness. All of it's awkward dorkiness. All of its vulnerability and hopeful nature. He just has so much love and care in that heart of his and he's looking for the right girl to give it to. And right now, at this very moment, he's found her. Now imagine this girl that he's looking at. A girl he is completely infatuated with, totally devoted to, and heart breakingly in love with. Now imagine her getting stabbed a few times and dying alone on the forest floor after a failed mad rush towards freedom that was close enough to taste but not close enough. Because that is Martha MacIsaac, also known as Becca of Superbad fame. Now imagine his face again.

The Girl – played by Sara Paxton. Aquamarine. 'Nuff said.

And a few random other things about the week: 1) I finished Breakfast of Champions and it was epic. I swear for a moment there as Kilgore Trout, Dwayne Hoover, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., and I all converged in that hotel lobby, I thought the universe might just open up and swallow the book whole from my hands. EPIC. 2) I really wanted it to be Chang's baby. I don't like Andre. I don't like Chang that much either but it would've been way more interesting I think, especially in regards to Chang's involvement with the group in the future. Making it Andre's feels like a cop out. 3) Say what you want about Disney Channel because I couldn't care less but don't tell me Uno is not age appropriate. Have you ever played that game? Since when is having fun not appropriate for all ages? This is in regards to my DSP class. 4) Is it time to change my ringtone from Trouty Mouth to Songbird? No. You're right. I would just cry all the time (like Santana!) and I haven't even seen the episode yet. 5) Why would you put the Laker game on at the same time as Glee? How does anybody choose between those? Just why?

While mopping at work tonight

all I could think about was this.


Mike Chang is a legend. Harry Shum is awesome.

Thank You

It's always the people you least expect that make the biggest impact.



Everyone's leaving and I feel lonely.

Why I love Santana Lopez

In which I practically write an essay in list format about my favorite character from Glee expounding on an opinion about the show often seen as controversial, especially in its early stages, and sprinkle in references of my other two favorite fandoms, Futurama and the X-Men.

When I first started watching this show, Tina Cohen-Chang was my favorite. I understood her. She was a minority, unapologetically different from the others, wasn't exactly known as the most gorgeous of the McKinley girls (though this has absolutely nothing to do with Jenna Ushkowitz's beauty and rather with the way the show chose to portray her), and though I never faked a stutter before, I had definitely done things to actively push people away, especially in high school. And I waited and waited for something substantial to happen with her. It never did. I got disappointed. I lost interest. I'm still disappointed.

I realize now that even back then I had a soft spot in my heart for the resident Latina and by the time Madonna rolled around, actually probably around Sectionals, I knew. And people looked at me questioningly when I said it so early on (The bitch? Really? Why?) though it is quickly becoming a more acceptable opinion, but Santana Lopez was my favorite.

Now, my appreciation for this character is quickly approaching Kif Kroker levels, which is to say everything she does just makes her more awesome. To further explain this, I refer you to the Futurama episode Proposition Infinity in which Bender and Amy campaign to make marriage between robot and human legal. I've been in love with Kif for some time. In fact, his action figure is sitting on my desk staring at me as I type this. (He came with the absolute best accessories ever! I mean come on, a cowboy hat, brain ball, and a framed picture of Amy!) But when Kif broke up with Amy in the first few minutes of the episode I practically fell out of my chair with pride and then 15 minutes later when he showed up on a motorcycle and leather jacket to win her back, well I was just beaming. It is still one of my favorite Kif moments. You see, it doesn't matter what Kif does. Whether he's breaking up with her in one scene or making up with her almost immediately after, every single thing he does just makes me love him more. And I've realized in the past five or so episodes that this is pretty much true for Santana as well, unless of course the writers do something incredibly horrible and out of character with her which let's face it is not all that uncommon of an occurrence. Anyways with regards to this post, half of this list is reasons I love her. The other half is reasons I love her even more. Does that make sense? Let us begin.

1. She's a side character and I tend to have a thing for side characters. Apparently this is because I see myself as a side character in my own life which is depressing as hell but also pretty true. But Santana is a side character that wormed her way up beyond the other characters, grabbed the spotlight and then basked in it. Really, she started off as a Quinn bee minion and as far as I can tell, there was never any intention to build on that. She could've been Matt Rutherford, Terri Schuester, or the football coach whose name eludes me but had a storyline and character development from the get go. When Santana Lopez was created, her purpose was to be in the background and now look at her. She's got one of the biggest storylines currently being explored on the show and her fandom has surely and steadily been growing. And because she worked her way up I feel like she's earned our attention even more so.

2. She keeps it real and she's hilarious. Her words. Not mine. A lot of this has to do with sarcasm and cynicism and I will always be a fan of these things.

3. She reminds me a lot of Monet St. Croix. (See last post.) So much so that I actually called her Monet once.

4. I said once that reaction shots make the show. Well, Santana Lopez makes the reaction shots. And these shots of Naya Rivera's beautiful face especially in all those episodes where she didn't say anything real showed us this was a character worth exploring. Hilarious as several of them are, the other ones show us when she's vulnerable, when she's lying even to herself, and yes, when she's in love with her best friend. She can say something completely harsh and you can tell if she really means it or she's just doing what she's supposed to do. And there are moments when the camera catches her and you think we weren't supposed to notice that. That was a private moment reserved for her alone and she would hate to know that we saw it. I refer you to that moment in Throwdown when Quinn tells Sue about the minority students not being heard or Grilled Cheesus after Brittany's 'heart attacks are just from loving too much.' Her reaction shots defined her character way back in the F13. You always knew there's something more to her. RIB just took what was already there and put words to it.

5. She feels invisible and is oh so afraid of her many many feelings. Who doesn't relate to this? Okay, probably a lot of people. But you know who does? Me! And before her big moment in Sexy, this was all very subtly explored. Constant put-downs and sexual escapades coupled with her little comments here and looks there that betray it all. It makes you wonder if anyone does care about her. At least Tina's parents were friends with her on facebook. Santana's paid for her 'summer surgery.' Sure there's always Brittany, but she took that for granted and after Original Song, is there really Brittany anymore? I like to think she's friendly with Mercedes after Duets and Tina after Trouty Mouth, but there's a big difference between friendly and friends. She's lonely and alone and she wants desperately not to be, but at the same time she's been hurt before and it's kind of safe being where she is with just herself. Compare this to some of the main characters whose conflicts and motivations can be so blatant. How many times had Finn had to choose between Glee and football? How many times has Kurt said he was the only openly gay student at McKinley? Not that there's anything wrong with this, but the way it was done so delicately with Santana just adds so much to her layers. You wonder, does she even know these things about herself? Is she hiding or is she lying? There's so much complexity there. She's like an everlasting gobstopper only the potential is limitless.

6. Girl's not afraid of a fight. And even when she loses horribly, she still wins. Cause that's how they do it in Lima Heights!

7. Her hair. As someone with frizzy hair and lots of it, I've depended heavily on the Goody brand of rubber bands on many a 'harried' day and this unfashionable decision of mine has attracted quite a bit of unwanted derision to a girl with admitted self-esteem issues. And this may seem really superficial but this is important to me because you know what people? Santana Lopez owns that hair and if it's good enough for her than it's damn well good enough for me. You wish you could pull off a ponytail like that.

8. She is an HB but definitely not IC. And that's an interesting character dichotomy to me. You wonder who is holding the reigns. Is it Brittany? Society? Even Puck at times? I wonder sometimes if it used to be Quinn superficially before Babygate came and left this big power vacuum where Quinn used to be, even if it is like a jealousy/ respect thing. Like she followed Quinn around in public because it was easy and inside her mind she was the one using Quinn to get where she wanted. Then Quinn fell from grace and Santana's plans to climb up the social ladder with her get thrown around a bit too and for a moment she questions whether or not she really wants it at all anymore. Then she kind of gets what she always thought she wanted, but not completely. Not like Quinn had. She's still a loser on Glee. She sleeps with Puck when he's obviously thinking about Quinn. And she sleeps with Finn when he's thinking about Rachel for her 'popularity' then never tells anyone about it even though telling people was the point in the first place. Then Quinn comes and knocks her off the top of the pyramid quite literally and quite harshly when Santana totally kept Quinn's pregnancy a secret from their coach a year before. And then Santana just kind of lets it go. It's obviously not Quinn, but I like the idea of a power vacuum and Santana's just struggling to rise above it but not sure if she can.

9. The way she talks. It's like a mix between Guido Carosella and Sal from Futurama only ghetto-fied. I know. More X-men and Futurama references? I warned you. Anyways, my two favorite lines so far? “We'z be goin' to Breadstix,” and of course, “Now, get out of my way please, a-fores I ends you.” And then she starts talking in Spanish when she gets angry. Harry Shum Jr.'s first language was Spanish and I kind of really want that pulled into the Glee universe so the two of them can bond over it. Yay for multiculturalism on my TV!

10. Brittana. There is just so much to be said about this relationship, friendly or otherwise, it really deserves it's own post but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to do it justice.

11. She cries at the drop of a hat. Aside from the wonderful Brittany-comfort-her moments this provides, this really just gives us so much insight into who she is as a character. The hysterical crying is one thing, hilarious and pretty much just a show for those around her, but those moments of genuine crying are kind of shocking and heart warming at the same time. I felt the same way when Tina first cried. Like a little weirded out and surprised but also really happy about it. I don't know. Mostly I remember watching To Sir, With Love on youtube (one of my favorites by the way) and a lot of the comments were about how much more moving the song was after seeing thick skinned I like to pretend I have no emotions Santana Lopez shed some tears over the loss of something she didn't want people to believe she cared about. And I'm inclined to assume most of these people weren't even really fans of the character beyond being fans of the show.

12. She's a mystery. Her father is a doctor yet she comes from Lima Heights which is the wrong side of the tracks but her room and everything she wears kind of imply she is from the righter side of the tracks. This kind of reminds me of back when Brittany didn't have a last name yet and everything she said was so innocent and out there and you wondered how she ever got mixed up with Sue and Quinn and Santana in the first place. I really want to meet the people that brought Santana into this world and then stopped caring about her and the two little brothers she has in my head canon.

13. Naya Rivera's voice. I remember when Like a Virgin came out and I was still struggling to separate their voices and more in awe of everything Santana related that was going on in that episode. I mean, she had lines and characterization and exposure. And then Bad Romance hit and I was hooked. I don't know a lot about music, like at all, but there's something about this voice. It's so vulnerable yet sultry and infectious and classic even, and it sounds nothing like I imagined Santana Lopez's voice would sound like but makes perfect sense with the character nonetheless. I imagined it to be either really strong and dominant or rather forgettable and it wins because it is neither.

So what prospects do we have for Santana's future and how do I feel about them? Well, all this gossip of Santana being a flat out lesbian has me a little on edge. Part of the beauty of Santana and of the Brittana relationship is that it took the better part of two seasons to bloom into what it is now, naturally and in the background. But she has one moment of clarity and confesses her love to her best friend and then she's a lesbian all of a sudden? It could also be that there were so many other ways to go with this, via the bi-sexual, Brittany-sexual, or my favorite no-label routes. Sure, make her a lesbian if you want, but not after what little we've seen of it. It just feels like they'd be forcing something just for the sake of a label, you know? But this is all gossip and internet speculation and I'm still in the middle of my spoiler-free Lent (which is really long). Really, I just want her to be happy. I want her to be important. I want her to have friends and be loved and I want her to stop hiding. Also, I want her to have more solos. And to sing MAPS, the unofficial Brittana theme song.

Monet St. Croix is Muslim!

I just had to let you all know how incredibly exciting this is for me. I mean prior to this, the only Muslim x-character we had was Dust. You remember Dust right? The burka wearing, Afghani refugee, New X-men that references her religious preferences with every other word. The one that was created in 2002 as a statement in Marvel's position on political correctness. Dust is a device. She is socially aware minority representation first, badass character second. And she's a member of the New/ Young X-men. Most people couldn't care less about the New X-men unless you're like me and then you only care about the cool rising stars of the group like Trance and Loa.

Monet St. Croix is not some minor background character and she is not defined by only one aspect of her life. She is not a stereotype! I've always been intrigued by her dark-skinned racial ambiguity often thinking 'what if Monet St. Croix was a little bit more like me?' (It's what we have to do when our choice of South Asian characters includes waste-of-purple-ink-Indra, utterly-boring-and-stereotyped-Dr.-Rao, and friggin' awesome Omega Sentinel that was just decapitated by a handless long-haired emo teen boy.) And now, she is. So maybe she's not the ideal Muslim in regards to, I don't know, her clothing choices or what have you but God knows neither am I and millions of other self-identified followers of the faith. It's just nice to get some representation and some acknowledgment really. To think that there are people out there with the same questions and the same dilemmas and sometimes even the same answers. I know she's a fictional character and all, but I'm just a little bit prouder today.

And seriously props to PAD for the execution as well. The way it was done with her having to defend her faith while also bantering with Guido and talking about her hardly mentioned but obviously important mother made this scene just very well done and spoke leagues as to her character. Believable leagues. The comparisons to mutantdom felt like it was giving something back to the x-franchise that's been missing ever since Utopia if not before. This is what the X-Men were created for. To expand on the concept of what it is to be a minority in the world today. I swear, Monet is just inching her way up the leader board for possession of my heart. She just beat out Paige Guthrie in my top Generation Xers list and is really close to knocking Rictor out of the running in X-Factor and that's a hard thing to do.

Also, Rich and Grace almost got married to Daylight. I freaked like I do every time I hear that song and I'm not the one playing it. Matt says it's about urinating in the street. This song will now be playing at my wedding.

Diddly S. Quat Week in Review

Things that happened this week:
1. One of the clients I've only worked with for a couple of weeks requested me by name. Moments like these make my life.
2. Another client I've been with for 7 months before the big house change recognized me, got excited and asked when I would work with him again, then called me the name of a girl that's been there five days. Why don't you know my name? I know yours.
3. Kobe Diem.
4. My poor shipper's heart is exhausted from all the emotion. I haven't been this invested in a TV show romantic ship (I like to focus on non-romantic relationships. I'm single and bitter. So sue me.) probably since Dominic and Anemone. Yes, I'm talking about the tear-inducing, utterly maddening yet utterly beautiful heartbreak that is Brittany and Santana. Also, the absolutely saccharine sweetness of Rich and Grace. Dear God, that last shot of them silhouetted as they go in for a kiss. There are no words.
5. One hour into lent I looked at my first spoiler/ preview. There have been probably five or so more since then. What is wrong with me?
6. Japan. I keep thinking the world is going to end soon because everything that keeps happening looks like it came straight out of a Hollywood apocalyptic thriller, so I've been flooding my mind with frivolity because life is short and it makes me superficially happy.
7. I had a very long, deep conversation with a co-worker that is having a baby soon about life and happiness and love. I told him I want to find myself and he explained that no one ever finds themselves. They just keep looking and life is always about possibilities and coulds. You don't know anything until you've reached the end of you life and think back on it. That's the only way you can ever know that he was “the one.” Only after the whole story is complete. And through this whole conversation I could only think of one person and I had this crazy urge to just go see him. I swear my life is a movie sometimes.
8. Somebody said I was skinny, sort of.
9. I was watching Get Him to the Greek and Mika's 'Love Today' started playing and I didn't recognize it. This is especially sad because this song is my ringtone! Also, did you know that Rose Byrne is in that movie? 28 Weeks Later love. And rape of any kind is never funny.
10. Dust is a bad ass and the way Remy blew her up just makes her that much more awesome.
11. I was cussed out.
12. Somebody ran into oncoming traffic.
13. I fell asleep during Rango. This has to be a Johnny Depp thing. His voice is just so soothingly hypnotic I suppose.

State of Diddly Address and Jukebox the Ghost

Just to give you a time line of my life, the first half of this post has been hanging out for 4 or 5 days on my computer and the last paragraph was written today.

So things haven't exactly been going swimmingly for me lately though that's not to say I've been sinking either. More doggy paddling at the shallow end towards the stairs because it's still somehow faster than walking. I've been like uber depressed for the past two months or so and I have no idea why. And that's scary more than anything because to my screwed up mind any level of depressed can get pretty dangerous. But who cares about that? I deal with Danger the way Xavier does. You know, before she rebelled, killed Wing, and turned the X-men against the Prof. Then I've been pretty sick for a little over a week now. Like losing a pound a day kind of sick, which coupled with the previous depraved state of my mind is doing really funny things to my logic and sensibilities. On top of that, there is just so much drama going on at work (and I'm not even talking about all the corruption and questions of legality worming its way out of the woodwork). They've taken my weekends from me so now I have no chance at a social life and I work hard enough as it is to keep that thing running on it's current life support. They've moved me to a different house so I miss my guys and co-workers and now I've got all these other guys just pushing me to see how far I'll let them go so I have to pretend to be all strong and knowing and adult when inside I feel like a little girl that just lost her favorite doll. Also all that wish washy crap with Mr. Valentine. I think I know now why he's 40 and single.

Anyways, despite all this I absolutely had to go see one of my favorite bands, Jukebox the Ghost at the Echo last Tuesday. And they were awesome. They put on quite a show syncing the lights to the songs, engaging the audience, and just joking around with Charlie Sheen (they sang him in to quite a few verses). There are a few things that will always stick with me about this performance. How the audience shouted in unison the line 'shouted in unison' from one of my favorite songs, Static (my favorite performance of the night too). To turn my head to the right dramatically with the music of Empire, the song that introduced me to Jukebox, between the lines 'my heart' and 'is my keep.' Their impromptu air guitar encore of Victoria after their amps started picking up some nazi radio station. And how stupid I felt when I found out that 'Leonard Stone' really is Jesse Kristin. He's all the way in the back! How am I supposed to recognize him?

A few more random things: For the first time Glee will be covering a song that I've seen performed live. Though I'm not quite sure the Warblers have the same quirky stage presence as Neon Trees and their 'ball up all your bad habits and throw them onstage' thing. I'm giving up spoilers yet again for Lent this year (you know, for solidarity), which is actually really hard because I don't have the funds to keep up with certain comic titles without them and Fox releases so many for Glee every week. Re-reading this post, I think I might do better abstaining from parenthesis use instead. Also, I did the geekiest thing ever today. I rolled a 20 sided die. That's right, I played Dungeons and Dragons for the first time. I joined a game already in progress as an Eldrian Druid. They came across me naked in a field and offered me a cape. I'm joking and if you watched Community you would know that. I do have a hawk though. I named him Barnell.

Happy Valentine's Day

All this talk of impending layoffs has me down and I can't even use my picture of Laurie because I used it the last time I was depressed. Admittedly I was warned of the downfalls of the field of my current preference. Difficult work, depressing environment, inconvenient hours, and amazingly bad pay for all that trouble. But I think once you get it into your head that you're going to work in the social work field, you know try to do some good in your life while you still can, selling people stuff they don't need or staring at a computer all day just never seems like it can be enough. But I guess after two years of unemployment, it would be a living.

I don't know, pessimist as I am it's easy for me to focus on the bad and sometimes it just feels like this whole generation really is being punished for the things our parents did, especially those of us that wasted so much of our time and money on that unbelievable lie known as 'higher education.' We were never even given a chance to prepare you know? And now a certain Mr. Brown decides a 20% cut to the people that need it most is the best way to get out of the mess that frankly he had a hand in creating. How exactly is my losing my job going to fix the economy? And it just kind of sucks that if it is me, it's likely not even going to be because of my performance. It's going to be because I don't see my manager for weeks at a time and can't chat her up all friendly-like like AM staff, and because I'm the only girl that works PMs and thus more muscle-challenged than my comparable co-workers. But who knows, with a house of 4 clients, 9 staff, and a 40% budget cut, we might all end up on the streets.

Whatevs. I just read I Kill Giants and this little concern of mine seems pretty hamster sized in those terms. Also, this helps. A lot.



An actual valentine? God, I'm such a girl. And I love it.

Is Glee getting awesome again?

As is becoming habit I suppose, this is based on one single episode as the Super Bowl episode, awesome though it was, was sufficiently spoiled for me by all aptly named spoilers Fox released beforehand. And I admit it was my fault but two months is a really long time to wait and they didn't have to release everything. Yeah yeah, excuses excuses.

I'm sure my assessment of this episode has a lot to do with the fact that it was quite heavily Santana based and my love for Santana knows no bounds. (Though my reasons for this should be better addressed in another post. A very long post. Eventually. Perhaps after the promised-to-be-amazing Episode 15?) But Santana reasons aside, and I know how hard it is to put Santana anything aside, I feel like the writers marathon-ed those first thirteen episodes over the break and brought back a lot of what was missing and then added Mike Chang dancing in slow motion. Verdict? Awesome. For this episode at least.

A few things:

1. Reaction shots. I swear the reaction shots really make the episodes sometimes. I mean just look at Mercedes' face when Finn tells the club about his charity idea or Fat Bottomed Girls' Mr. Schue, Santana, and Rachel especially with her whole range of emotion. Then go back and listen to Finn say the word smooch. Gets me every time.

2. Friendships. It's something this show needs more of. Have Mercedes and Quinn said a single word to each other this season? Though rare, when they do it right, the friendships become the best part of the show. I want to see more of Mercedes and Kurt hugging in the background and supporting each other and less of Kurt telling Mercedes she needs to have a boyfriend to get over him. So yay for sleepovers and inviting Rachel in on the fun too. Also, does anyone else think Mercedes' onesie for the sleepover was inspired by Hemo's in Nuthin' but a Glee Thang? It probably wasn't because of timing and all, but I like to think it was.

3. A capella background music. We all wondered where it went, and now it's back. Let's just hope it stays.

4. Relaxed settings. As in something other than the choir room. I love scenes at the Grind Me Coffe House, in their rooms, and especially Breadstix. They are legally forbidden to stop bringing you breadsticks after all.

5. Puck singing and Mike dancing. Puck bothers me as a character. A lot. But the boy can sing which is great because most of the guys on the show can't. Also, Mike dancing. In slo-mo. For Tina.

6. Gold stars. I actually forgot this about Rachel. How sad is that?

7. And on the Fuinn relationship, I kind of sort of get it. I don't think Quinn was ever over Finn. Maybe she loved him and maybe she didn't, but I think it really broke her to realize she couldn't be with him and it was all her fault. I mean, she was going to raise her baby with him. And now he's free and Sam is boring. And Finn is feeling reckless. He's been the good boyfriend twice before and what did that get him? He just wants to have some fun before he goes back to do the sensible thing again, which he will, because he always does. Maybe I'm not too happy with the way it's being done, but I will take anything that makes Quinn relevant again.

And randomness, does anyone else think it was a cop-out to have Zoey get a divorce in How I Met Your Mother? After that super emotional (What are you talking about? I wasn't crying. I, uh, have naturally watery eyes is all.) Last Words episode, I guess I'm just a little disappointed.

Hello Gold Motel

So remember a couple of posts ago when I mentioned I wanted to go to a Gold Motel gig and not have to sit through Hello Goodbye to do it? Well, I might just have my chance. I've been planning on seeing Jukebox the Ghost when they come out to LA for a week or two now and it turns out they have also been opening for Hello Goodbye though I was unaware of it. You know what this means? Gold Motel might actually be filling the previously empty spot for opener! I pretty much flipped at the news except I don't know how to flip so actual flipping would probably cause me to break my neck and die and then I would never get to see Annie and Jeff hook up on Community and I obviously can't miss that. Anyways by request, here is a little Gold Motel introduction song. (And please keep your fingers crossed because this hasn't yet been confirmed on either Gold Motel's site or the venue's. That makes me think it probably won't happen but it was fun to think it might.)

Who will die in Skins Generation 3?

I've tried. Okay? I've tried, but the North American (I don't know why we insist on calling them US productions when they're both filmed in Canada and feature pretty exclusively Canadian actors and production teams. I suppose it's the same reason we feel we need to have US versions of these awesome British shows in the first place.) versions of Skins and Being Human but they just don't have it. And by it I mean heart. The care and emotion that I have come to expect from things associated with these names. I'm not talking about love and care between the characters because some of the beauty of the originals were the distant nature of these friendships. I'm talking about care and respect from the production side of things towards these characters, the original shows, and also of course, us fans of the originals.

Anyway, the point is, instead of watching Being Human US last night, I watched the first episode of Skins series 5 which introduced us to a whole new generation. And honestly the first thought that came into my head when finished with the episode was which one of these characters was going to die by the end of next season. Sure, some will argue that it's a little predictable to kill someone off at the end of this generation's run as well, but my argument is that the producers are thinking the same thing and Skins is not a show of what's predictable. So, no death. But of course, weird fans like me now think that this is the most predictable option and of course now they have to kill someone as that final big blow to the fans. It's that old they know and we know but they don't know that we know that they know, do they?

So I gathered up all the characters into my arms and placed them into this very handy machine I have stored in the back room that spits out the 'losers' (if dying can constitute winning I suppose) one by one with convenient reasoning attached to their lapels. I imagine it to work like the Maternifuge from 'Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch.' And now I present to you the results. Mind you this is based on viewing a single episode which centered on a single character. At this point in season 3 we hadn't even been introduced to Thomas yet. Also, most of the characters' names elude me at the moment.

First to get scratched off the list are the guys. Yes, all of them. If Jamie Brittain chooses to off someone again, I highly doubt it will be yet another of the males. It's time for the women, or rather girls, of the show to start filling their share of the quota. This was actually a little hard for me because that guy that asked Effy Jr. to shoot him in the chest is so ripe for killing off. His whole mysteriousness and strange but brief emotional connection to Franky? And that gun scene is totally foreshadowing right?

Next is Mini. Now I can't decide if she's a Michelle, a Katie, or a Tony quite yet, because they all seem to be there. And sure, they might run her over with a bus (which is quite fitting because I also see a lot of Regina George in her) or hit her in the head with a boulder at the end of this season but that doesn't exactly kill her does it. Also I can't see her death being all that meaningful. But hey, they turned Katie for me. Turned her into the best character ever! So there's always hope.

Then there's Franky, or Effy Jr. as I like to think of her. Effy of first season though, based solely on her looks and strangeness. It would make sense to off her, bringing the story full circle. It's through her eyes that we meet this new group of teens as she does and we would be leaving them as she does as well, but that makes her too obvious of a choice. If she is to be the main character of this generation as Effy was and Tony before her, we can't expect the writers to do away with her. To off her would be to off the entire generation and I'm afraid our tiny Skins dependent hearts can't take that.

And then there were two, Grace and the Jal look alike. Of these two I'd say Grace's would be a Chris death. She's nice and likes people and doesn't care too much about the political lines. Jal II is the Freddie death. She's boring. Yeah, that's all I got about her. So obviously it's going to be Grace. I feel the thing about both Chris' and Freddie's deaths were not about them as much as they were about the people they had touched. And right now, based on one single solitary 50 minute episode, Grace is the only character with that kind of heart. She is the only character that has made an impact in anyone else's life, and frankly the only character that made any impact on me. I also love the fact that the thought of defecting to the Rebel Alliance and away from the popular crowd wasn't much of a thought at all and that she managed to be so awesome in an episode that wasn't about her. Thus, she is destined to die. In my mind at least.

And now I'm off to find the latest two episodes of the real Being Human. I have no idea why it's so incredibly easy to find Skins but so incredibly difficult to find Being Human. Must find out how they save Annie!

Laurie Collins

Feeling particularly angsty today and I don't even know why. Like being surrounded by people and feeling lonelier than ever. Invisible, inconsequential, wallflower. Also I can't help but think that every word that spills from my lips is a complete and utter lie and I hate it, only I can't make it stop. I don't know. Whatever.

Anyway, here's some happy music.

Things I learned last week.

1. Child molesters like me because “I look like a little girl.” Really. This is a true story. I could give you names if confidentiality weren't an issue. I see this man every day. Chris Hansen should pay me.
2. Trying to sleep while a vacuum is going off next door brings back all my fears of being abducted and probed by aliens.
3. People up north spell cool koo when people down here spell it coo on twitter. I also don't understand why this was in the newspaper.
4. Getting someone else's urine on me is only about the 4th most disgusting thing that can happen to me at work. Feel free to use your imagination on the top three.
5. Age of X is going to be (in falsetto please) AWE-some. And all it took were a couple of bad ass Guthries and for Chamber to have his face blown off again. On a side note, I also find it immensely entertaining that Clay Mann has no idea who Wind Dancer is. I mean, the artist that's pretty much responsible for the New X-men now doesn't know the one girl that started it all. That kind of sums up the existence of the New X-men (and it's fans) nicely I think.
6. I need to start getting into bands that headline, because I am not willing to sit through Hello Goodbye just for 30 minutes of Gold Motel.
7. Dry erase marker is a bitch to get off your skin.
8. Also, saddle shoes people. Saddle shoes. Just like patterned socks, anklets, and grey contacts on brown people, you heard it here first.

What the heck internet?

Why did it take so long for you to introduce me to this?

Do you ever feel

Like this?