Hello to you too, World.

Remember when Blink 182’s single ‘What’s My Age Again?' came out? It was 1999 and I was 13 years old. Sure it was a catchy song, not my favorite, but catchy. I think most important in regards to this post though is that at the time it meant nothing to me beyond its catchiness. At 13 I already thought prank phone calls and TV were too immature for me and I knew was that my adult life wouldn’t be that way. I could be successful. I’d graduate from college and have a career and of course my own apartment. Being the pessimist that I am, I didn’t think that was too much to ask and I always assumed these goals were realistic. I’m actually not even comfortable calling them goals. It was written, like I didn’t even have to work for them. They were just going to happen. But they didn’t, for the most part. And here a full decade later, at 23, when most people are at work, sitting on my parents’ couch in front of their TV wondering why. What happened?

I can probably tell you what happened too. Trust me. I did graduate from college with a degree in psychology and two minors in philosophy and public affairs so I consider myself well trained in analytical thought (though debate is still open as to whether this constitutes anything beyond practice in bullshitting). I’ve pulled quite a many all-nighters to prove it. So really, I think I do know why my life turned out the way it did and I think that’s part of the reason you’re able to read this now. But despite all this thinking and logic, I still can’t help but feel that Blink 182's simpler reasoning just might’ve gotten it right. Nobody likes you when you’re 23. And that’s scary to me. Not the fact that they were right, but the fact that my life is now an example of a pop punk song from the 90’s, in sentiment only of course. It would be ten times sadder if it was a literal description of my life don’t you think?

Was I lazy? Yes, of course. I’m lazy in the sense that I don’t always separate my whites from my colors in the laundry. But that doesn’t really mean anything does it? I work hard in spite of any laziness I feel and I’ve never had anything keep me from working on my education and career goals. I think I was like that once. When I heard someone was unemployed it meant they didn’t try hard enough, didn’t work hard enough. But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned on my journey to adult adolescence, it’s that everyone works hard. The only problem is that not everyone gets the same rewards. And I’m not taking pity on myself mainly because I’m not taking pity on anyone and I’m not talking about myself. Maybe I haven’t seen a lot in my time but I guess I’ve seen enough to realize that that’s just the way the world is.

And the world doesn’t seem to like you at 23 either.